Prayer Works: my story

If you haven’t read about how I let a boy ruin my relationship with God, you should because it gives some vital background for this story.

In case you still won’t go read it, I’ll summarize: I prayed to God a big thing about a boy. An ultimatum, really. If this boy isn’t The One, take him away now. It was that “now” that really got me in trouble. In short, I dated the boy for another year (which is a LONG time for me, making up two and a half years total for our relationship), and when the boy finally did break up with me, I was angry at God.

Since then, I’ve been struggling to relearn how to trust God with anything. I’ve been getting better.

It’s been three years since then, but about a year ago, I truly started trying to trust God.

I prayed, for real, for the first time, about something really big.

In October of 2017, I prayed as I was submitting my first piece of writing to potentially be presented at an English conference. I said, God, if I’m meant to be a writer, then I will get to present at this convention. 

Immediately, I was nervous. What if it wasn’t accepted? Would I not be allowed to be a writer? Being a writer was the only thing I was ever sure about. Why did I give this up to God?

I decided that it was for the best. This was my ultimate test of faith and trust in God. Besides, I only said I needed to be accepted; I didn’t have to win a prize or anything. Lots of people are accepted to present at this convention annually. Still, I fretted throughout the months of November and December.

On December 18th, 2017, I received an email that said congratulations!–my submission was accepted for presentation. I cried.

God never said what type of writer I would be; He only said, in that email acceptance, that one day I would be one. And now, truly, there is nothing I’m more sure about.

Whether I would have been accepted for presentation if I prayed or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that I gave one of the most important things in my life up to God and let Him tell me if it was right.

And now I’m here: writing a blog, halfway done with my first novel, working at a newspaper, and a complete (mini) memoir under my belt.

By the way, I did present, and I did not win a prize. But I was still so, so happy.

There are still some things I’m scared to give up to God. But I’m working on it.

Written 9/3/2018.